1.02 Minimal Damage

Dustin is upstairs studying when he hears Loki's light footsteps towards the door. It opens and shuts as he goes outside. The door is old and the sound is brittle, betraying the cheapness of the wood that was used to make it.

Meghan must be home from class.

It's only been a few days, he knows she hasn't gotten up the courage to break up with Loki yet, and once again he finds himself worrying about her. She wouldn't date both of them at the same time and Dustin had told her he would wait until she was able to talk to him, but the last two evenings when after dinner Dustin had raised his eyebrows in a question she had mutely shook her head. Things had gone on much the same as before, only Meghan had found excuses not to be alone with either he or Loki.

Of course he was so used to giving Meghan space by now that this didn't really phase him, but he wanted to hold her again and things felt as if they had happened too quickly the other night. Now it's getting to the point where he just wants to be in the same room with her again. But here he is sequestered dutifully to give her the opportunity to tell Loki to take a friggin hike already.

To make matters slightly more annoying the course material is easy and boring. Class projects are quick for him to complete and he's glad that his education here was so affordably purchased. A few years of this isn't a very appealing prospect.

Loki greets Andrea enthusiastically, as if it's been more than a few hours since they parted in the morning. She goes with the flow of the embrace and pulls away as soon as seems polite. It would be so much easier to break up with him if they ever fought about anything. How is she going to be able to do this? It's not like he knew anything was wrong between them. To her it seemed as if they were on different paths entirely now, but he had made her feel accepted and special in the beginning.

“How was class?” He asks after releasing her slowly.

But in her mind is the inevitable comparison, the casual familiarity of Loki's embrace against the gentle demand of Dustin's from the other night. The chill that was in the air, the cadence of his voice and the warmth in her chest when he opened up to her and was, for the first time she can actually recall, defenselessly honest. The careful touch of his fingertips against her cheeks... the feeling that they both had so much more to say...

Loki snaps a finger in her face, staring at her with his ice blue eyes. “Drea? You look like you're having a flashback or something.” He laughs lightly. “Was class that bad?”

She shakes her head slowly and her eyes focus again on the man in front of her. “No, no it wasn't bad, I feel strained but it was.. okay.” She thinks she might be smiling, she's not sure after a few moments. “Is it too hot outside, it's hot isn't it?” She wonders under her breath.

“Is there something on your mind? You seem to be in an odd mood lately.” Loki's voice is agreeable, but gets farther away in waves. She feels panic set in. She can't do this. She wants to run away, to lose herself in something unending; a project, an idea, her classwork even. The familiar cold feeling of giving in washes over her body as she willfully begins to withdraw from the confrontation that she knows she must have.

“Drea... Andrea?”

It's not without effort that she's able to call herself back. She inhales slowly, deeply to calm her jumping nerves.

He's standing expectantly, trusting that what she's going to say is something simple, no doubt. Some worry that he can assuage for her.

She has to do this. Waiting for others to take initiative is not going to cut it anymore. She learned to debate people, but there was never such a feeling of irrevocability about that. How is she supposed to reject someone, worst of all, someone she likes as a person? As a friend, he was always dependable and had never done anything to let her down. He even helped her come up with ways to convince Dustin to come with them, and found so many great scholarships so ease their burden financially. He was always confident in her ability which was more than she was used to and sometimes more than she felt she deserved, he just wasn't someone she was passionate about.

That didn't mean she wanted to lose him either.

When she finally does talk it comes out in a quiet rush. “I don't know how to say this exactly, I've never dated anyone before you and it's been difficult to know what to expect.”

“Okay.” He nods ever so slightly, so she knows to go on talking. It's incredibly cute how she manages to go from unsure to confident so quickly. Her voice wavers with hesitation and he finds it adorable, he can't help himself but be a little mesmerized. Other girls were obnoxious and false by comparison but Andrea was innocent: a pure heart. She may think it's too soon to talk about children and a family and the future, but he can see it, all of it. She would blossom in confidence and be amazing as a partner, as a mother.

She continued. “You and I are very different people, Loki and it's been amazing, getting to know you and seeing things from a new perspective. I even feel like I steal you from Dustin sometimes because I spend more time with you than he does anymore. Uh,” She fumbled with the words, she had no idea to get to the hard part of what she needed to say. Classes were over for the morning so she had time, but didn't want to put this off.

He watches her and gets lost in some of his own thoughts. She had already met his family once before in high school but he wants to bring her home again so his mother can see what he has already come to understand, that she is the one. He is going to marry her.

“I think being in a relationship is distracting me from my studies, and I don't want to... keep dating.” She says carefully. “Right now,” She amends, mentally slapping herself for not being able to be direct with it. I don't think we're going anywhere, I don't love you... she echoed her planned words in her head, but she couldn't say them: they seem too harsh.

He had moved closer to her while she was talking, as if he hadn't heard a word that came out of her mouth. The smile on his face was enough to make her want to take a few steps back but she held her ground. “Loki, did you hear what I said?” She asks, eyes darting to his.

Loki knew Andrea was testing him, she often teased as a way of experimenting, saying something dramatic to gauge the reactions of the people around her. He knows this. Her voice is distant, which should probably worry him, but it seems like class has taken a good amount of her normal energy from her and he wonders what new game this is. “Hmm.” He hums, making her frown slightly.

Instead of talking to her about what she had said to him, he reaches for her and kisses her firmly, taking her completely by surprise. She's not expecting it and he is stronger, so even pushing against his shoulders with her palms she has to wait it out. It's possessive, much more than their earlier embrace: this kiss is more a demand than anything else.

Did she seem fickle or something? Why was everyone taking liberties with her lately?

He pulled away, smiling as if he's gotten something right, while she scowls angrily at him.

“What the hell was that?” He voice is something of a gasp, getting caught in her throat. “I told you I can't do this anymore okay? Loki I'm not joking, I think we should focus on getting our education while we're here. Not so much... well you know.” She mumbles the last bit uncomfortably. “This.” She points between them indicating that the two of them were this.

His eyebrows drew together in confusion. She was starting to sound serious. Where had this come from? “We haven't had any problems, have we?” He asks.

“Well not really, but that's not the issue- I can't and we aren't going to- right now isn't the right time!” Her train of thought is derailed, he can sense that the surprise kiss threw her off of what she was going to say.

He probably shouldn't be enjoying getting yelled at so much. She has her hand on her hip and everything, as if it makes her look more formidable. But Drea's usually so cheerful he can't help but enjoy seeing such a different side of her. He knows that she's not hiding what she really wants to say for once.

“Be honest. You enjoyed it.” He says, confident. It's not even optimism; he's simply sure he has her pegged. Andrea always let him lead. Sure there were limits so some things romantically, but she was the kind of girl who wanted to experience life, and he knows she likes being surprised. She's playing hard to get for fun, he's sure of it.

He continues. “If you wanted to string me along now you wouldn't have come this far with me. Let me guess? You're testing me because you don't feel ready yet and you think I want to have kids this second, well I don't plan on pressuring you about it, so you don't have to worry. We can still be... intimate without having kids right away.” He says teasingly and reaches his hand towards her face. “As much as you want to be at least.”

Having had enough, she slaps his hand away sharply. The sound echos even though they are both standing outside.

“I said no, Loki.” Her voice is cold and reprimanding. She didn't know her voice could sound like this.

He holds his hand back for a second, staring at her. The slap didn't hurt, it just forced him to realize that she wasn't playing around right now.

When he does speak it's all at once as an explosion. “What was that for? I said we can wait if you want!” He's frustrated now, becoming angry. The normal calm she's used to melts before her eyes. His arms swing widely with his emotion. “You can't be- you aren't serious about wanting not to be together? I plan on devoting my life to you after college, Andrea I know we can be happy, you can't be serious!”

She takes a step back, not noticing her arms are up now in a position of surrender. She knows how strong he is, he's starting to scare her now. “I-I am serious. Loki I can't be your girlfriend anymore.” She says between clenched teeth. Clenched she realizes belatedly, in case he decides to hit her. She doesn't want to bite her tongue. But what she's not willing to do is run away. It can't be this bad can it, to tell someone the truth?

He sees her fear, it doesn't make any sense to him. He's never done anything to hurt her before, so why would he now? Her defensive posture is actually in some ways offensive to him, but it deflates his anger into confusion. He feels a stab in his chest. She's really rejecting him.

He wills his arms to come down to his sides but is unable to relax. “You don't have to cringe away like that.” He says through tight lips. “I just can't believe you're willing to do this to me. No explanation, no anything? You want to focus on your studies even though that's all we've been doing? It makes no sense!”

This deep feeling of shame is a first, and not a good realization. She feels horrible. Loki keeps speaking; it was a stream of his expectations and how amazing life with him would be. He doesn't sound as if he is going to accept her decision, it's more that he is acting as if she's being difficult. She tunes back in to what he mutters nearly to himself in shame: “I was going to ask you you know, to propose, but not here- like this. We can be happy, we WILL be- I know it. Only, be patient for a bit.”

Be patient? It was like he wasn't hearing her at all. “I... wasn't thinking about that. I didn't realize you were this serious.” She says quietly, trying to get the conversation back into the realm of 'we are still not happening'. “I'm sorry, Loki. I can't.”

“I haven't done anything wrong.” He pleads with her now.

His voice as it drones on becomes more of an echo where the words reverberate into sounds that were new, harsh but distant and not distinct. This is why when she was a child she was diagnosed with a learning disability, she would get so deeply lost in her thoughts, as if she was somewhere else entirely. She feels cold fear take over, as many thoughts overtake her own. She pushes everyone she cares about away. They were never going to recover from this. Loki and she could not recover their friendship.

What was she going to do when Dustin finally saw this about her too? She would be alone in the end, this would happen no matter what. Every action has an opposite reaction, for every love there is a hatred, does that principle apply here too? Would Loki hate her?

She must have said something just now, what was it? The expression on Loki's face has changed drastically, one of her others might have taken over briefly. Well she called them that. Was that self able to convince him? Probably not. Andrea was actually the name of the little girl, the one who was born when her mother died in front of her. She used to talk to Andrea for hours in that little shack, the girl who witnessed it with her, who understood the kind of suffering that no one else could know about. Part of the reason Meghan had adopted that name to represent her as a fake identity in life was to make things easier in class if she messed up and actually became Andrea, after all.

Loki must know about her problem now. She is sure she'd said something embarrassing. Should she be embarrassed though when she has no idea what it was?

“Stop looking at me like that.” Meghan is unable to keep the hurt from lacing her voice.

If Loki has made the connection about her disease he's not vocal about it. He has his own confusion and hurt to work through now regardless. He's stopped trying to change her mind and only responds simply now. “I thought I meant something more than this to you.”

“I didn't know how to tell you,” She sighs, fear leaving at the sound of the brokenness in his voice. “I don't hate you or anything Loki I just don't love you and it was stupid to let things go this far. I was... being selfish and I didn't know how to say it because I like you so much as a person. I'm... very sorry.”

He swallows thickly, his pride leaving as he stumbles forward to embrace her one last time. It's not forceful or needy, but she can feel his sorrow in her spirit as an almost tangible thing. 

“I'm sorry too,” He whispers, his voice catching uncharacteristically on the words.

Dustin has had just about enough of this. He hadn't been trying to listen or watch through the window, it just happened that he was studying up there. The intention was not to butt in; he knows Meghan can handle herself (and God knows she's never had any trouble rejecting him before) but he didn't realize that things were getting so out of hand.

And when he saw Loki refusing to take no for an answer he realized he shouldn't be all that surprised. But Loki forced a kiss on her and the response upstairs from Dustin was immediate, he slammed the lid of the laptop shut and vaulted away from his chair, leaving it to fall on the floor with a crash. He barely had time to process what he had seen until he was on the way down the stairs. There is still a possibility that Meghan has things under control.

But the sight that confronts him when he comes out of the front door makes him see red. Did he grab her again? Loki's forehead is buried in her shoulder, his face is in her chest. Either Meghan was caught and couldn't get away, or she was being incredibly naive thinking this wasn't going to confuse the poor bastard any more than he was already.

Just then Meghan lets Loki go and mutters awkwardly about something she needs to go do. She makes her retreat inside the house, passing Dustin on the way in. She is visibly upset, and Dustin can't stop his feet from propelling him forward. She looked like she is going to need a moment alone regardless.

Loki is awkwardly fussing over his clothes, clearly unsure of what to do now. Andrea went inside and it would be too uncomfortable to go back in now. He considers finding a bar but that's not really his thing. There was always a party somewhere if he decided he needed a complete change of environment. He can barely process what happened himself.

“What's going on?” Dustin's voice cuts into his thoughts, but carries a hint of accusation in it like an edge.

“Andrea... she broke up with me.” His friend's voice is hollow. He doesn't believe it.

“Did she.” Dustin replies. “Before, or after you assaulted her?”

Loki looks at Dustin quizzically. Assaulted...?

“I saw you.” Dustin confirms and walks around to face his friend. “Did you force that kiss on her before, or after she said she was done?” He enunciates every word, not wanting something to be missed.

“You don't seem very surprised.” Loki murmurs, not answering the question that was asked. “Did you know she was going to do this?”

“I knew she was thinking about it.” Dustin says, “But that doesn't mean you can force yourself on her.”

“Please. I did not 'force myself' on her, don't be dramatic.”

Dustin's voice raises in disbelief. “Then did she ask you to pin her arms where she couldn't get away? Because I'm pretty sure I was able to hear your conversation just then as the window was open, and I'm pretty sure she had asked you a yes or no question, Loki. There was no 'open to interpretation' part of what she asked.”

“Look Dustin, I know you're gay or whatever so you don't understand.”

That gives Dustin pause. “Wait what? What are you talking about?”

Loki's smile holds a touch of malevolence. “C'mon really? You don't have to keep hiding it. Everyone knew you went to prom stag to avoid coming out, even after Jennika and Lynn both asked you. Then when you got there you only gave Lynn a pity dance even though half a dozen guys vied for her attention. Also, related or not you can't deny that you're practically Andrea's gay best friend with how close you two are and you've never dated anyone ever- “

“Are you finished yet?” Dustin asks, trying not to let any amusement show on his face. Is that how it looked to people? Because he didn't run around with different girls or act desperate? What a stupid thing to be worried about, people gossiping.

“I'm finished if you admit it.” Loki jeers, working towards any type of win at this point. He is angry, lashing out. His girlfriend is confused. His friend is a liar. He is hurt, angry, and in denial.

“Stop trying to distract yourself from the fact that you are never going near Andrea again.” Dustin says, his voice dangerously quiet. “I can't believe you Loki, maybe she didn't like the way you were pressuring her, did that ever occur to you? That she broke up with you because you try to control her and you take advantage of the fact that she's too nice to say no sometimes?” He can't stand how Loki is making it out to be no big deal.

“Please. She'll come around. I know what she likes.” Loki scoffs in response.

And instantly without so much as an audible snap, Dustin steps forward and shoves Loki sharply backwards, flinging his backpack roughly away in the process. “That's it I fucking warned you.” He growls, tackling Loki to the ground.

For a few burning seconds everything is chaos.

Loki has never really fought anyone before but he is very angry and gracelessly creative.

He lashes out indiscriminately, but Dustin is fueled by the rage of someone with something precious to protect. Dustin's punches get through and Loki is dazed and at a significant disadvantage: He's only considering protecting his own pride right now. The fight is quick but intense: Dustin clearly is winning.

“You. Owe her an apology. You. Will. Apologize. To. Andrea!” Dustin enunciates each phrase with agonizing leverage over Loki's imminently collapsing windpipe. There is more adrenaline in his body than thought at this point. “You will never, NEVER do anything like that again!” Something like a gurgling comes out of Loki's mouth.

Dustin's loosens his sleeper hold just enough to let Loki's voicebox vibrate so that the right words can start coming out of him.

Arms flailing as he feels himself start to black out, Loki nods vigorously. But as soon as Dustin releases him he spins and launches a right hook that misses- he ends up getting backhanded- Dustin's watch catches him in the face- and he's down.

Loki finds himself with his ass on the pavement, breathing in shallow gasps.

Dustin feels his fists, clenching and unclenching at his side, still bracing for anything to come next. He is dimly aware that a few of his fingers have the stabbing pain of being deprived of oxygen from being closed into tight fists for so long. He waits, sensing that things aren't concluded just yet.

After his breathing slows Loki rises into a crouch; frustration, anger, confusion flickering over his face all at once. Overshadowing the others: pure rage. “You had something to do with this.” He hisses. The two of you went to study and she's been different ever since. What did you say to her?”

Dustin raised his eyebrows mildly. He didn't think Loki was this far from understanding 'Drea' that he hadn't seen the breakup coming. He wondered if he was supposed to feel some sort of guilt for finally confessing to her, for asking her to break up with his friend, but he couldn't summon it. It had, ultimately been her decision. “The fact that you can't imagine Andrea would decide something like this on her own was the exact problem between the two of you all along.” He growled. “You can't possibly conceive that she wouldn't choose you. Do you always calculate everything so carefully, even in other people's lives?” Dustin was surprised. He hadn't expected to find Loki to be so unlikable.

Loki works his jaw, feels the blood on his face running down from where his eyebrow is gashed. There's a lot of it. Dizzy or not, his anger keeps him rooted to the spot he's standing on. Fight or flight? The question is written in his eyes.

“I'll keep going if you're sure that's what you want.” Dustin warns him in a low voice. “I'm not going to let you take advantage of her, I'm pretty sure I told you that.”

“I told you it wasn't like that.”

“Just fucking apologize to her Loki. It's not complicated. And probably get your face looked at.” He leaves him standing there and marches back up the stairs, feeling disgusted. He was pretty sure at one point he'd felt Loki's nose break.

Dustin lets out a few calming breaths as he washes his hands. He wasn't wrong, he knows what he had seen and heard. But this is not how he expected the break up to go. He has mixed feelings but there's no going back on his newfound hatred of his friend. He didn't take Loki to be that kind of person.

He's still angry, this incident makes him wonder what things had been like between Loki and Meghan, but he knows he's not going to pry anything out of her. He just hopes now that she isn't too hurt in all of this. Friends are precious commodities to her, she has only a few and she cherishes those people deeply.

Loki checks himself out in the mirror shortly after in the upstairs washroom, thinking how ironic it is that he's getting a communications degree. If he was good with other people why hadn't he seen any of this coming?

The damage to his eye is minimal, mostly is just a wide scratch that bled too much like any head wound would and he knows he'll have a shiner in the morning. He's going to get his nose looked at as soon as he's done here but it's safe to say he has no idea what happens next. Is Drea ever going to speak to him again? Should he give up on her completely? Was it like Dustin said after all, had he forced her? It didn't seem that way at the time.

At least his teeth are all still there.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki rolled a wish to become more muscular.

So I don't hate Loki or anything, I just think of him as being misguided. He's projected all of his future desires onto this relationship and Drea isn't like the other girls back home (although randomly I found out when I added Loki to the family that Jennika is a love interest I would LOVE to know the story behind that one). So I'm assuming he's been able to somewhat have his pick of the ladies because he was the attractive, serious but not snooty type in high school, and he hasn't had to ever deal with rejection. Add to that the fact that Meghan hasn't knowingly had to reject anyone (even the whole deal with Edvin she just stopped calling him instead of confronting him about how he acted) and you have a recipe for serious misunderstanding.

Dustin is my favorite person and I love him right now. I like Loki too even though he's being a bit of a... I still feel bad for him, he can't really know what's going on. Oh yeah and why'd Dustin wear his backpack just to go beat someone up? lol

Anyways I'm curious to see if anyone prefers a side in this, are Loki and Dustin's actions justified? I'm not sure myself to be quite honest.

But thanks for reading!

-The Frog