1.06 Risk Taking

“Are you sure you won't regret going with me? I mean, you always talk about wanting to strike out on your own. I want you to be with me but not if you're going to regret your decision down the line. I don't want to hold you back or anything.” Dustin says seriously, raking his hand through his hair.

“Why do you sound worried again? I'm completely over it Dustin. I wanna be with you too, no more running around in circles. Besides, I'd like to see you perform, and be there to support you. How can I watch your star rise if I'm living somewhere else?” She asks nonchalantly.

“It... wouldn't be right of me to assume.” He explains, starting to smile.

She grins and pulls her phone out to load a website. “You're right about the research facility there by the way. It think they will be plenty of opportunity for both of us. All I ask is that we live a little ways away from the lights downtown so my stargazing isn't affected by too much light pollution. I'd like to have a lab at home eventually too.”

At home. The words make him feel like he's soaring. She just said that about living with him.

Across town Jennika is a bit disappointed, but not all that surprised when Loki tells her he can't be with her when she becomes a young adult. More than anything, he's annoying her at the moment. “You used to be a lot hotter when you didn't act like you cared about my feelings.” She tells hims plainly.

He has no idea how to respond to that comment, so he doesn't.

“You won't have to worry about it anymore, I just wanted to tell you. I'm moving out of town, it's not going to work between us. That's it.”

Well that made her mad. She balls up her seventeen year old fists and grinds her teeth. “Well I wasn't going to wait around for a dick like you to come back from college. You can stop pretending like you care and flake off.”

Loki shrugs. “Guess I won't see you around or anything.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

Women are crazy, he thinks to himself. Jennika had constantly come on to him when he was dating Andrea, and now that he was single and being direct she wasn't interested at all. She'd had a crush on him since middle school when they were children, they'd even shared an awkward first kiss. But now it looks like all of that really doesn't mean anything anymore.

He was making the right decision by moving out on his own. This more than anything is what helps to convince him. He's never going to plan his life around a woman again.

Leon has apparently spent too much time by himself next to the family keg. He doesn't even socialize with his brother.

Then again, Everet has his own preoccupations...

Loki moves out several days after that without saying more than a few words to anyone about it. He tells Meghan because despite what he said about not being able to promise her anything, she still spins like a ballerina on the inner recesses of his mind.

He needs to get away from her, the sooner the better. She messed up so much in his life but that didn't mean he didn't still care about her. It was too much to process with her nearby.

And with a town this small and full of gossip, the only thing to do was get away. Far away.

He marvels at the distance there is now between people he once cared about. Dustin and he haven't spoken at all. Since the incident neither one can bring himself to forgive the other.

Meghan's getting pretty good at computers now to the point that she's confident in fixing small problems. She knows Loki leaves in the morning, but it wasn't meant to be. She doesn't go talk to him about it.

Time passes quietly after that. Loki moved out of town the next day. According to his family he went south, someplace known to be rural and quiet. Meghan hopes she finds happiness there, or a way to be happy. He isn't a bad person.

Dustin has been saving up and spends a bit of time with his girlfriend. They've been dating for months now officially. He hasn't worried that they're going too fast, and things seem indescribably perfect. It feels like Meghan and he want all of the same things.

So he asks her. He has to, they're getting ready to move and he can't keep a secret from her for very long, he wants her to know what's been on his mind. The ring isn't huge, it's from the few tips he's been getting and the resale of his college books. It's not worth thousands, but it's a cute style he really thinks she'd like.

The expression on her face is frozen for a while, and a kick of panic rises like bile in his throat. Did he just mess up?

She can't make eye contact. Her tone is grave. “Dustin...”

He rises to meet her eyes if she'll let him and says nothing; pensive, waiting. Please, he thinks. Please.

“Dustin I can't marry you.” She says after minutes of torturous silence. “I just... can't.”

He shakes his head, not knowing what to say. Was it too soon after all? They'd been through so much together. Should he have saved more, was the ring too small? It didn't seem like the sort of thing she cared about. “Why?” He whispers when he finds his voice.

“Because... I love you and- I can't.” She says softly. “I'm happy just being your girlfriend right now.”

He has to know. “Do you...ever want something like that?” It's hard to ask. This could be serious for them. His pride is hurt sure, but it feels so much more personal. He'd really risked a lot by asking, he just hadn't realized how much until she rejected him.

“I don't know, Dustin.”

“Even though there's nothing about you I don't love?” He presses forward. “And nothing that I wouldn't work hard to give you?”

She leans in to kiss him instead of answering: she's avoiding the topic. If he gives in now he can never ask her again.

He loves how affectionate she is, but this feels wrong. His heart is beating too quickly and he can't give into to the despair that swirls below the surface of his outer calm. He bites his lip.

"That's enough out of you you vixen," He tries to joke, holding her gently away.

She looks hurt and offended but he can't fix it.

“I think I need some time to think about things.” He says more honestly.

She can't fix him either.

He lets her walk away. It's never wrong to be honest, he tells himself in empty consolation. There can't be any more secrets between them, they've been open with each other about everything. He doesn't understand.

She leaves: he stays behind.

There's always someone there to witness when you're having a horrible day, he muses as he rolls out his sleeping bag at the rec center. He doesn't care about anything right now anyways. Let the woman in the stupid hat laugh at him.

Meghan tries to fix one of her problems on her own, but the facilities at the Sparrow residence are woefully unprepared for her experiments.

And the place is crowded, and everything is breaking down.

Dustin finally came home late the next day and just fell asleep on the rocking chair. She couldn't bring herself to say anything to him (plus she looked atrocious and was happy he'd slept miraculously through the explosion). She wasn't used to feeling like such a spaz, but her mind was... still off.

After a quick shower she decides to ask him out again so they can talk about things.

He wakes up and agrees. They head to the park.

“There's some things I'm not ready for yet.” She tells him. “I hope you don't think it means I don't care about you.”

“I was serious when I told you I wanted everything. I just thought, even though you've been using my last name all this time, it's all fake. And to move to a new town with your alias- well it just got to me, that's all. I wanted to make you Meghan Sparrow, not Andrea, not some girl who pretends she's related to me, but as my wife.” He inhales a breath of chilly night air: lets it out as slowly as he can. He says the next part carefully. “I think, if you don't want to marry me you should choose a different name. We could start over, blank slate if you want.”

She doesn't reply immediately so he adds to it. “If you don't-want to be dating either, if this was too much for you- I can try to understand. We can get separate beds, you don't have to move with me, you- you don't have to do anything.” He nearly chokes the words out, feeling heartbroken. He hates himself for saying this much, how could he let go of the best thing that's ever happened to him so easily?

He must be an idiot.

She swings back and forth for a moment, watching him warily meet her gaze. His silvery gray eyes shine a little in the starlight. But even though she can see every emotion as it flashes over his face he's not running away from the conversation.

He's so different from anyone else. He's willing to work through things. But did he have any idea at all how messed up she was?

“I'm sorry I was so blunt about it but I didn't know what to say. Can't we just date for a while, isn't that okay? I...didn't mean to hurt your feelings.”

“I'll mend.” He promises quickly, way too quickly. She still wants to date him! Is all he can think right now. “But... does that mean I can ask you again, in the future? If you still want to be together...” He trails off.

“Uhm, you can ask me again.” She says shyly. “I just think we should go out there and work and see how we are with living together first.”

“You don't think we can make it.” He says bravely. She shrugs, not sure if that's true. He goes on, more than that worry has been on his mind all day. “I don't want to rush into anything either. I just can't picture my life without you, and I'm sorry if you felt pressured. But you make me happy, more than that, I feel elated when we're together- I almost can't describe it. Even so... there are some things I'm not willing to do right away either.”

It was her turn to be brave. “You mean you don't want to have sex.” Some of the way he acted before, he always stopped before things got too heavy, even before she wanted to keep going sometimes. “Is that why you wanted to get married?”

He laughs. “What do you take me for? But yes, that's something I'm saving for my wife, it's not some candy I'm going to be handing out to just anyone, you know? It's like a ...pact. Something precious. So I am saving that.”

“So... as to why you asked me?”

“Well you know you're the only one I want.” He rolls his eyes. “I'd probably still not be dating anyone if you hadn't told me yes. We can date as long as you want, but I know I won't be able to stop myself from asking you again. As- stupid as that probably sounds.”

She shakes her head. “It's not stupid.”

“Thanks for asking me out here.” He says. “I get it if you need time, I'll do my best to understand.”

“I don't know... how long I'll make you wait.” She cautions.

He smiles faintly. “Yeah, it's okay. Thanks for the warning. But I'm in this to find out what we have between us too, and so far I think it's been good.”

She gets up and holds her arms out to hug him, he cradles her head gently. It's almost like no more words should be spoken now.

She does whisper in his ear. “It's been more than good.”

“Should we try to catch a movie or something now?” He asks her before letting her go.

She shakes her head and smiles. “Nah, there's supposed to be a rare comet passing by soon and I thought we could watch it together.”

So they do.

But not before Dustin makes fun of the way she decides to sit. “That's really ladylike. Are you trying to tempt me after everything I just said?”

“Not that I don't mind the view...”

“Stop staring you pervert there's a once in a lifetime occurrence happening right over your head.”

“There's more than that happening I can assure you.”

“What do you- ew! That's... kind of gross.” She rebukes when she realizes what he means.

He laughs and watches the sky with her. “It's not gross that I find you irresistible.” The warmth of his hand covers hers and it feels like all of her worry from the last few days melts away. He's forgiving her, after she hurt him so badly.

“I think- when you aren't being disgusting- that you can be overwhelmingly charming too sometimes. In an awkward, never grew out of being a teenager sort of way.” She admits as they both lean back.

“Do you think you included enough qualifiers in that?” He asks dryly. “Can''t you just admit how great we are together, or how much you love me? Not for my sake of course, I'm already well aware, but for yours.”

She tries to laugh sarcastically but it's funny and she just enjoys the moment. “Don't be too full of yourself.”

“I'm not, I'm thankful.” He says with conviction.

She smiles widely. “Then I can admit that I want everything with you too. Just... not as quickly as you do.”

The comet is far away but still it's streak of blue and pink crawls patiently across the indigo sky, as if there wasn't thousands of miles passing it by every second. On the ground the young couple feels as if they are flying.

She does totally try to see if he was actually looking at anything though after the comet rolls by an hour later.

“I guess I am flashing my underwear at the park- good thing no one else is here to see it.”

“Well thanks for showing me first I guess.”

“Ugh. Shut up.” She grumbles in embarrassment getting off the grass and dusting herself off.

Dustin laughs. “Thanks for taking me out here again. It really was a great view.”

She shoves him in the shoulder. “Let go pack.” She says, her voice bossy. “We leave in the morning.”

“Anything you say Miss Sparrow.” He was going to be insufferable the whole way there, she had a feeling already.

“After you, Mister Suspicious.”

“Ooo, that's a good one. Really put me in my place.” He grins as they walk home.

“I'll put you in your place.” She promises darkly.

But he grins all the more. “Yeah?”

She blushes red. “I didn't mean it like that!”

And it goes on all the way home.

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I can't resist a good joke at my sims expense.

So things are finally moving again. But yeah, she did reject him on a date, after finding him something like irresistible. Meghan is always throwing wrenches into my plans and trying to live life her own way. The nerve of this girl!

But whatever! I never get tired of their moments of bitter-sweetness. It's gonna suuuck when I have let them age up I already know it. But, they can't stay stagnant forever! Time to move the story along... and just for those counting (and why would you be?) I've taken 2,400 pictures in this game up to the point of this update (XD). There are many more yet to be written about, this is something like 60% of what I've played that has been blogged. 

Stupid house I stupid built for them is up next. You're gonna love it.