Sunday, May 31, 2020

1.45 Semi-Resolutions



Winter approaches Starlight Shores in a hush of subdued energy. Kinetic, waiting to burst forth in spring and take over. People are excited, but they rest. Fall has a few days left to call it's own.



Some 'people'...





...get up to all kinds of excitement.




Dustin notices his daughter hasn't been feeling right lately. He tells her to head to bed early for once.

How can she explain, that she's more than a little afraid to fall asleep? But she tries, and to her relief, the dreams don't come.




Eugene's ghost will forever haunt the fortune cookie machine.



Jyo stays indoors a lot now, learning new skills that she will never use for anything in her life.

Malcolm, predictably, has not called or messaged.



Howard calls her and asks her to hang out for once. She is at home creating a masterpiece, so she's busy for the next... ever.



Dating, like everything, is stupid. She doesn't even feel like hanging out with friends right now.



Jet has been up late writing a lot these days, after seeing Christian and before thinking about schoolwork (which he mostly half-asses in class). This serves to make him a temporary heavy sleeper. There are other computers in the house, maybe dad just wanted to spend time with him?









Jyoti sees Malcolm often at school, but they don't talk to each other now. From time to time it feels like he watches her, but then again, she keeps catching herself looking for him too. She's looking because she's never wondered about who he is really, behind the shyness before now, but her personality is obvious to all. What's he looking for?



It takes a lot of effort some days to pretend that she doesn't care about him at all, but it also reminds her of her hopes and disappointments, how naive she was. It's embarrassing, but she's comforted by the fact that he's not the type to share private things with people who might start rumors. Things like how she was apparently two-timing him with an imaginary person, an older and possibly not very normal person. The rumor mill at school would love a fresh story like that.

Most humbling is that her dreams were real, and now even Luke is gone from them.

She doesn't know what she's supposed to do with her pent up emotions and feelings. They aren't going to go away on their own. Malcolm's face from the night of the pier is sometimes all she sees, when he's sitting docilely in class. He may have made mistakes in their relationship, but she could have handled things better. She never gave him credit for the things he had done, or made an effort on.



So it's a surprise when shy-to-every-fault Malcolm calls her outside during study hall one day, even though she was sitting in the middle of her boisterous circle of friends.

“It still hurts, what happened,” he says absently. “I just want to say that I'm sorry for everything, and I'm really relieved that you didn't leave with him.”

“How do you know I didn't leave with him?” she asks. “I could have left for the weekend and come back.”

He has nothing to lose at this point. “I waited, outside, afterwards. He left, and you ate alone, at the pier. You jogged most of the way home and snuck in when your mom was out walking the dog.”

“Should I be creeped out that you followed me home?”

“After asking me to protect you if you ever needed it, then screaming at me for never being there, even though I ran out all that way to the pier when you seemed to be in trouble?”

“Point taken. I was an absolute bitch to you.”

He looks down at his feet. “I should have been there for you, and I wasn't. I get why you were upset. So... can we talk about it?”

“You have to look at people sometimes, when you're talking to them, Malcolm.” She reminds him.

“Oh. Right.”



He didn't want to look her in the eye. Well, he did, but everything still felt so raw. He was afraid she would see everything he was thinking, and run away for good this time. He wanted to chase her to the ends of the world.

...but he could never say that to her. That was his biggest failing, sometimes, not knowing what to say when it really counted.



She helps him out. “I'll start. I'm still confused about some things. You're going to ask me who Luke is, and how I met him, and I'm not really sure when I met Luke. I thought I was just imagining him all this time...” She trails off hoping for some reaction, but of course there isn't one and she rambles on. “He's sort of been, someone I've randomly dreamt about, on and off, for a long time now. Like, my fantasy fake boyfriend that only ever showed up in my dreams and wanted to listen to my worries and problems. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I really wasn't sure I was awake, at the pier, until much later.”

He swallows back the thought that her fantasy is the exact opposite of him in every way and scowls at one of the random bricks behind her. The rain drips off her umbrella in staccato and he says the most obvious, difficult thing he's been thinking. “You didn't seem well at all, I thought he'd drugged you.”

She stops and bites her lip a bit. “But he didn't come back, either. Someone who's willing to do something like that.... someone who I thought I'd invented in my own mind...”

“You can stop saying you imagined him, this isn't all just in your head." His delivery is gentle despite obvious agitation. "There's more to it too, Jyo. He's a lot older than you think he is. He was outside your house, after I stopped to see you, and you completely had forgotten about it, and he didn't just look older, he was taller, everything, had different clothes on.”

“No- I don't think you were ever at my house-”

“That's the problem.” He cuts in. “The problem is that whatever he did to you, left you confused and now you can't remember things. He's not normal, and I'm really worried about you!”

He rose his voice so she stops everything and watches him. All that hangs in the air is the steady drip-drip-drop of the lazy rain.

“I haven't seen him again, since then. I mean, not in dreams, not anywhere. If you didn't see him too I probably would have left with him. You know how in dreams, sometimes you'll try anything just to see where it leads? I would have gone with him, for sure. But all this happening, makes it seem so real. Makes him seem real.” She shudders at the rain dripping on her shoulder and brushes some water off in frustration. When she looks like she's going to cry he's had enough and takes a step towards her.



“Jyoti, for someone who nearly got kidnapped and maker knows what else, you've been handling things remarkably well. I almost can't believe it, how normal you seem. You don't have to be okay all of the time.” She sniffs back the tears while he continues. “I'd like to be there for you more, to help you deal with things. I know I haven't been the best at expressing it, but I ...care for you a lot and I want to be better. I will be.”

She makes an effort to smile at him and shakes her head lightly. “I'm used to being on my own a lot, Malcolm. I have a lot of friends- well, at school, but it's not like anyone ever has the time to actually go see one another, so it's like, nobody's close anymore.”

“So what you're saying is that it's lonely in your ivory tower, and you've been waiting all this time for someone brave enough to come and rescue you. Someone like me.”

“Malcolm Meir, are you flirting with me right now?”

“I hope I am, been meaning to for a while now.”

She laughs, despite herself. “That's really flipping cute.”

“So you accept my apology?”

“Maybe if you come hug me, I'll feel a little bit better.”

“Good to know.”



He closes the distance between them in one long step and when she stumbles slightly towards him, she meets a firm embrace. He strokes her hair and gently runs his fingertips over her neck in a soft massage. For once he discovers that words are not needed. She presses herself into his chest tightly, feeling the warmth and comfort of his presence, the vibration of his voice. She realizes that her dreams can't compare to the real thing.

The rain still rains on them, but is hardly noticed. “I'm so, so very sorry.” He whispers. “I took you for granted, and you deserved better than that.”



She sniffs. “I compared you to a made up-dream person and never took the time to see when you were going through something either, like with your mom-”

“Shh. It's okay, I'm okay, I don't need anything that's not you right now.”

She starts to cry quietly into his shoulder, they stand that way for a long while until she's breathing deeply again.



He lets her go carefully, and rests his forehead on hers for a moment. When he looks at the brightness in her eyes he can't help but want to kiss her. But she's upset, so he doesn't want to take advantage of the moment. He finds it takes actual willpower to pull back a little.



“Can I be honest with you for a second?”

“Sure.”

“You look really good as a blond, but I miss your normal hair- I hope you didn't change it for me.”

“I just thought you might like it, then it was convenient when I was out running. Can I tell you something too then?”

“Sure,” he says.

“I don't want you to be a blond either. I've had enough of those for a while.”

He sighs in relief. “Yeah. I'll keep it in mind.”

“So- about us, are we giving it another chance?”

“I would like that very much.”

“I think ...I would too.”




Most of the family is back in their normal indoor routines. The time for pool parties is over and a studious atmosphere settles on the house.



Pictureception.

...Could there be any more patterns in one place?





It would be funny if you could analyze the laundry in this game. Sims should totally be able to retrieve dna samples from it.



Jyo has the whole evening covered just in case she wants to be out late. There's a huge sleepover at the Huanna's, where most of the class will be and she's supposed to be going after Malcolm's. She doesn't really want to go there though...

Seeing the place he's grown up in explains a lot about Malcolm's character to Jyo. There are people in and out, someone's always got friends over, and it's a tiny two bedroom place where it's not unusual to find someone sprawled out on the couch, nursing a hangover in the morning. His dad's not a bad guy, just likes to have parties and the kids are an afterthought. It funny to have something like that in common even though the reasons are different. He tells her she can stay late, as long as she wants really, nobody will mind or care.



“I'd give you a tour but you can pretty much see all the rooms from the living room. You're here to see me though, and not the house.”



“Yeah, yeah I'm here to see you.” Malcolm and Jyoti are a lot closer after what transpired between them, having a secret that only the two of you can keep will do that. They finally get the study date at his dad's place that they should have had weeks ago. But even when they're separated now by after school projects and part time jobs, they don't waste time doubting each other as much. It helps that Malcolm has been making a real effort to talk to her about mundane things that happened in his day, and they text or call every night when they can't see each other. He sucks at phone calls, they make him nervous, but he's getting better.
Jyo tries to share what she's thinking, and he finds out things that she hadn't wanted him to know, like the fact that she has no real goals for the future and watching him work hard to earn a living stresses her out.

They've each made a real effort to be more vulnerable, so a lot of the nerves this time are about excitement to see each other, and not real anxiety.



She's not interested in wasting any time that they might be able to spend alone. “I know I'm here to study, but can we go somewhere a bit more private?”



Malcolm laughs softly and uses the closeness as an excuse to stroke the side of her neck with his thumb. “I think we can try.” He slides his hand down her arm in a feather-light touch to grasp her hand.



All it is is a little bit of hand holding, but from the warmth that radiates out from it, Jyo finds herself wishing that the moment will never end. She feels protected, he looks at her as if she's special.

“Is is bad that I don't care if we don't get much studying done? I'm just happy you're here.” He admits.

She smirks. “So about that privacy?”




“Don't forget to put a ring on it, first.” Malcolm's mean-spirited brother Stanley calls from the couch. “There's condoms in the top dresser drawer.”

As Malcolm has gone most of his adolescence without having a girl over, this teasing is not a surprise.



Jyoti doesn't know how she's supposed to feel about that comment. It shouldn't be exciting, right? She's supposed to be flustered or offended. It's an embarrassing comment to make in front of her, sure, but something had better happen tonight so she knows they can be more than friends, that she's not the only one attracted in that way. They've been dating for what feels like forever, and she told her father something like that in jest. In reality she doesn't know if she'd always been attracted to Malcolm in that way, or if it was just recently, when he's shown her so much more of himself. He always had really nice green eyes, she had just never known what it felt like to be watched by them with this kind of quiet intensity. It's driving her more than a little bit nuts.



“Your room will be fine.” She says noncommittally.



And saunters right by him towards the door he indicated earlier.



Malcolm levels a look on his brother, who doesn't budge from his perch on the couch. It's a commercial, or he would normally be completely ignored. “What, do you want me to read you the instructions that come on the package?”

“No, I want you to not talk that way around her, actually.”

Stanley waves his hand dismissively. “You don't understand girls at all. You have to talk that way sometimes or they'll never find you dangerous enough to let you bang 'em.”

Malcolm is not going to have this conversation. “She's not some random girl, okay? Leave us alone while we're here.”

“Yeah, yeah- you don't need my help to fuck it up though. Go stu-dy.”



Malcolm leaves that mess where he found it on the couch and heads over to his room. He quickly experiences a kick of panic to find Jyoti has made herself completely at home, relaxing in his bed.



“Are you just going to stand by the door?” She asks.



The door shuts behind him and effectively closes off his way out. He knows what they should be doing right now, and this is a temptation he did not expect to be confronted by so quickly. Her legs are slim and toned from hours of exercise and his mind goes blank. He wants to touch her so badly right now. He can't play the moment off, he can't back away from her expectant figure.



He can sure as hell shy away, though.



So he starts to ramble. “I'm really glad you were able to come over, finally and see the house. It's small, but cozy, you know?”

“I'm not here for the house, I'm here for you.”

“Y-yeah, so now that you're here we can settle in, I'll just go grab my backpack-”



“Just come sit down for a moment and relax. We have all evening to work on homework, and I didn't really come here for that.”

He swallows a lump in his throat. “You ...didn't?”

“Of course not. So get over here.”



He hesitates for a second longer, but the more he tries to avoid her less-than-scholarly gaze, the more it strengthens his resolve. This is who he wants to be with more than anything.



“Scoot over here. We can be closer, it's not like I'm going to bite you, or anything.”

“I wish you would.” He says without thinking.

She grins. “Yeah?”

He's embarrassed that he actually said that out loud, but captivated by her boldness. “Yeah. I could go for a bit of anything right now.” It comes out quiet, like a whisper.

She blushes crimson, and he takes the moment to slide closer, wrapping his arm around behind her waste. He laces their fingers together and turns their hands over a time or two, appreciating the moment, giving her a slow, idle massage with his thumb.



He finds it easy, being with her, when he lets his worry go. He finds himself able to look her in the eyes again. “Sorry.” He apologizes. “I don't really want to do homework right now either. It's just... well you're the person I've been dreaming about, all along- since halfway through middle school. I have to realize that we're really together again, after everything that happened, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable at all...”



She cuts him off mid-sentence.



“I've been wanting to do that for a long time.” She confesses, biting her lip.

“Look at that blush.”

“Don't tease me right now.” She warns, feeling her face heat up even more.

Malcolm shakes his head gently and takes a deep breath. “I can't tease you, I just can't get enough of you.”

“Then show me how you feel, stop talking about it.”

“Right. Sorry.”




So that's how they don't get a typical first kiss, some cute after school peck before one of them gets on the bus to go home to be pined over for an afternoon. What they get is gentle and insistent at first, then building in intensity- a full blown first makeout session.



After a good forty five minutes of near-complete liplock they look up and discover that it's snowing.
“Hey um- do you want to stay overnight? Tomorrow's the weekend.”

She bites her lip and feels the heat in her cheeks flare up again. “Yeah, okay, I'd like that too. I sort of, already told my parents that I was at a sleepover tonight.”

“I'm supposed to say something like 'be responsible, your parents need to know where you are.'”

“No you aren't, you're supposed to tell me all the reasons you never want me to leave.”

“I don't want you to leave because there's so much of you I haven't got to touch yet.”

Her face flushes bright red. “Dude!”

He grimaces. “Sorry, too soon for me to be more honest with you?”

“Uh- I don't know?”



He pulls her back against the bedframe. “It was worth a try. We can get some studying done now if you like. I'd be happy to sit longer, doing nothing, watching your cheeks flush.”

She closes her eyes and sighs a long-suffering hormonal teen sigh. “Yeah let's knock it out and be done with it. My mom's erratic, but she may want to check up on it when I get home.”



"I wish we didn't have to do anything right now." She says, looking outside at the falling snow. He brushes his hand against the small of her back and stands with her for a while.

"Yeah." He agrees. "Graduation is soon though, spring will be here before we're ready."

"I hope so."

"What are you planning to do, after...? Have you thought more about it?" He asks tentatively.

She turns and sees something wistful in his expression. "I suppose you have thirteen different job options lined up."

"Just one, primarily. But I'm excited about it. I'm hoping you and I can spend a lot more time together, honestly."

"I don't think I want anything from the future. Is that sad?"

"Doesn't that just mean that you're in a good place right now?" He counters.

She frowns. Malcolm had such a different way of looking at the world. Suddenly inspired, she turns and kisses him softly for a long moment. "Thank you."



They sit down after that to get their excuse for the night taken care of.



Jyo however, is interrupted in getting her homework done by one Robbie Platt, whom we've already established as a hobbit-like douche canoe in this story. 



Seriously, Malcolm? Your homework is that important?



Jyo reels from the slap. “What's your problem?! You used to be such an annoying midget, in class...”

"Tall midget to you." He growls.

"That doesn't make any sense. You're an idiot and you make no sense."



“I have to go see if it's red.”



“BWAH! JusT KidDINg, AssHOLe! Hahahahahaa....”



Malcolm realizes with all the noise that he had been drifting off over his science book. “What's going on?” He asks, groggy.



“This noodle-necked soyboy is what's going on! Why's he in your room, trying to pick a fight with your girlfriend right now? At four-thirty in the morning!?”



“You have an ugly face.” Robbie casually mentions. “I want you gone, leave.”



“What is this idiot doing living at your house in the first place? He just slapped me in the face!”

Malcolm takes a deep breath. “I'm sorry, he's my half brother on my mom's side, and he needs a place to stay right now.”

“He's a violent sociopath.”



“He's on medication for it.” Robbie picks at his sleeve, oblivious. Malcolm turns to him. "Robbie, Stanley has your medicine, it'll make you feel better."

Robbie sighs dramatically and shuffles zombie like, out the door and back into the living room.



But Jyoti is not appeased. “Why does something shitty happen on every single one of our dates?”

What am I supposed to say to that? He thinks, not at all for the first time.



“Look, I hate that something like that just happened after we finally got to spend some time together. My living situation- it's not really better than yours is for privacy. I'm sorry, I want you to know that you're safe when we're together.”

"Then go kick his ass."

"I don't- I mean, he's not well..."

"I know, I don't mean it. Ugh."


Words fail him, so he reaches out to embrace her and for a moment, buries his face in her neck. “I want to protect you so badly, but how can I? That happened right in front of me.”

“Behind you.”

“You know what I mean.”



“Jyo, I've never had a good thing happen to me in my entire life. I never know what to say or how to act, and-”

“You do know you're very reliable in emergencies.” She reminds him.

He frowns. “Maybe. But I don't want you to feel neglected, or pushed aside, especially when you're the only good thing that exists around me, the bright spot in the darkness of my life.”

She pauses. “You sure you don't know what to say?”

“I'm serious. The bad things that happen on our dates, when we're together, I'm just used to them, that's just how my life goes. But now they're affecting you too and it's just... unfortunate, but it makes me so angry. You deserve better.”

She thinks about how 'Luke' used to tell her that she deserved better all the time, how it made for an impossible standard. “Life is never really fair though, Malcolm. If I want to you be with you- and I do-then, we're going to have to learn how to weather these things together.”

He has no problem looking into her eyes now. “I really think... I'm falling in love with you.”

He reaches up to touch her cheek, and slowly draws her in towards him in a gentle, lingering kiss. He puts the weight of his sorrow and hopes into it, and there's something almost spiritual about the connection. Not that she knew how he felt, exactly, but this was so, so much better than her fantasies, even with all the ups and downs. He was better than she ever knew, and she's so glad she was giving him another chance.



~~~~~~~~~~~


Because we all know that I can never just give Loki the things that he wants. Here's an example of the thing that he wants (from the second he & Circe broke up- the 'DaMMIt LOki Collection');



I feel I should mention that the Loki in this town is not the original Loki, he is a copy of the family of the original Loki who I'd sent to the swamp in Twinbrook, then Moonlight Hollow, and when we got to Starlight Shores I had adjusted my game's lifespan by quite a bit, and so the original Loki is dead. This Loki, the family copied from the Moonlight Hollow playthrough, was never dating Meghan in the first place and yet is in freaking love with her. If it matters, I'm on my third Loki right now in game- who is constantly hitting on 'Drea, the elder'. xD He's an idiot, and I love his idiot self.

Finally, finally, Jyo gets something that classifies as a great date. Sheesh whatta ride.

And the Beaker children;

Artemis Beaker




 Atlas Beaker



And Beaker Beaker ( I couldn't resist).





I have no idea why Jyo was thinking about engagement when she doesn't have that wish and nobody around her is. I had to use it in the story- it's probably because they've been dating for a while now, technically.


This picture cracks me up. He looks so fragile. XD

Anyways I don't think Malcolm is as shy as he lets on. Jet only got two letter's from Christian in the same time that Malcolm wrote four..


4 comments:

  1. Did Jyo just unironically call a mentally ill sim a "soyboy"? o.o

    I think the teen Beaker kids might look okay if not for the small, beady eyes.

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    1. Is that what you got out of that? xD
      It turns out that's her favorite dish, too. I have no idea why she would be using it as an insult. But it's soy, so~o. I just made him mentally ill in the story because they've literally never met before that and he just came in to smack her around for no reason at all.

      The eyes and the long ass faces. Beaker beaker looks cute until he gets bigger if I recall.

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  2. I like that they talked through everything and both can admit to doing things wrong the first time. They're much more dedicated now. Although I'm worried about the relationship based on previous comments. D: Oh and they finally kissed!

    Damn even alternative Lokis are obsessed. Artemis looks badass (prob just the hair xD).

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    Replies
    1. They had a good chance to understand each other all along, but expectations got in the way and clouded her judgement, while he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts. The little bit apart and what they went through together certainly helped.
      Yeah they took forever to kiss, I guess that's a theme in this blog so far lol. It's funny because Malcolm is respectful about wanting to take things slowly, he's almost too mature for Jyo in some ways. She wants to experience life.

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